Once upon a time, I did one of those flimsy online personality tests and was diagnosed with a “67% judgemental personality”. It was spot on and in order to not “wreck myself”, I go above and beyond to “check myself”. Despite my best efforts, it recently dawned on me that the 67% had gotten the best of me when it came to prospects ghosting. My script got flipped, what if it was me all along…
Learning the hard way
Since I started doing business in Malaysia, one of my main pet peeves in business has been the lack of follow-up and -through. Yes, it’s all about who you know, but sometimes it was just mindbending. For example, have you ever been to a conference and texted an exhibitor (that likely paid thousands for their stand) afterwards to buy their product and they never responded? Well, after a few of these exhibitions you might argue this is a feature, not a bug.
As this ghosting-feature kept popping up, you can probably imagine my surprise when an advisor looked me in the eye and said it was my fault. My initial feelings were drenched in frustration and self-pity, “You weren’t there, how would you know?!”. As the conversation rolled on, this initial negativity turned into a sense of empowerment as we discussed social capital.
His argument was simple, whether or not people should extend professional courtesy – in case of an exhibition – by growing social capital with them you can increase the odds. In short, go from asking for something to “give, give, ask”. In addition, be sure to choose a venue or platform where you can shine and most likely to stand out. For example, going to an expo, being person number 100 to hand-over a business card and having a rushed conversation might not be ideal depending on your social make-up.
Key steps to growth
Moving forward there are some key moves I need to make to steer clear of my 67% judgmental tendencies.
- Move #1: Find sustainable ways to consistently add value to people
- Move #2: Add this value at scale
- Move #3: Channel connections to environments where strengths shine
Upon doing all of these things I will not need anyone givin’ up the claps cause who needs applause.
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